Tonight, Tonight

I am trying to write lyrics to this feeling and this experience but...? For some reason, it is so cliché, so (hopefully!) universal, so often written about, yet it is such a cruel tease that there is no way for me to accurately describe it. No way that I can conceive to put it into words and find a song to express it. Why are hurtful things so much easier to express? Really, even clichés and in the moment "he makes me feel alive, yet shaken, yet..." phrases never do this justice. I feel... like I can't breathe quite enough, yet I'm panting for air. Exhilarated, yet like I just got the wind knocked out of me. Like Gidget (great old movie) when she says that she feels like she just got hit on the head with a sledge hammer... but in a good way. I'm... smitten. I'm... giddy. I'm like a school girl jumping up and down with excitement... I'm.... tipsy on this exuberance. I'm oddly whimsical already.

It's that feeling when you want to recapture every moment, when you can't stop smiling and feel punch-drunk on the elation, when... it's such a cruel joke that I can't find the words or the song to describe this, right? I walked up my stairs and to my room literally holding the wall for support NOT because of too many glasses of wine, just because... this feels incredible. And I know that I overuse that word constantly. This blog has made me realize it. But apparently I love that word. And this feeling. And lots of things that make you so glad to be alive and I strive to find that feeling every day. hopefully every moment. I feel it in my stomach. How's that for visceral description. Ugh still not good enough. Some day that song will get written. I promise myself. Until then, I'm just live drunk on the feeling.